Preview Guidelines

Previews can only save you time and money when they are done right. By saving time and money I mean saving you from going to a bad movie. If you go to the movies in hopes to see some good previews before the special feature, then you probably already know what I mean about seeing a “done right” preview. Let me explain to those who don’t understand exactly what I mean by a good preview:

• First of all, every preview must start out with an eye catcher. Who the hell wants to sit and watch a preview for another two minutes if it started out with something like grass growing or paint drying? It must start out with such an important action scene or an unbelievably funny line that an audience member cannot bear to turn away to start making out with his girlfriend.
• You know what really helps a preview though? Some good music. Horrible music turns the audience off. So what do those magic movie makers do? They choose an amazing soundtrack that would help attract the specific audience. Like Pineapple Express, a movie basically about two stoners with nothing but chilled out, stoner music. The perfect combo.
• So a movie starts with an eye catcher and then has the good music as its background to help set up for the biggest part, the fluff! If it weren’t for the random action packed scenes or the laugh-out-loud funny lines, there would be no preview. But it’s important that the preview doesn’t go overboard because then the whole movie would be played within the 2 minutes. Maybe just one or two big explosions or random, immature comments. No more.
• Lots of skin. Need I say more? Whether you’re a guy or a girl, you have to admit skin will pull you in. It’s hard for girls to resist the chiseled abs of Paul Walker or the boys with the bodacious curves of Angelina Jolie. So if the movie plot sucks, there’s always the extra skin for your eyes to gawk at.
• Finally, it’s best to follow the idea of a Theatrical TEASER trailer. Keyword: teaser. It is very important that a trailer doesn’t give away the whole plot or all the best actions scenes or all the funny lines. When trailers do give out all of their best, the movie is a complete and total flop because everything memorable has already been seen.

I think previews are completely necessary but they must follow these strict guidelines. If ever a preview strays from the rules and shows too much or absolutely boring segments then the movie could only be one thing. Total flop.

Style of K Hamlin